I’ve been spending the past 5 weeks in Tamil Nadu. In M’puram again, staying at the Bob Marley, waking to the sea and Tamil wedding songs. The sea has been having an amazing healing effect on me. I was swimming or body boarding at least once a day but showing some signs of the stress and trauma of the past three months: loss of appetite, sleeping less and less and digestive problems that I’ve never had before. Emotionally feeling very shaky. During the 8 day Satipatthana meditation course, the sensations I was experiencing on my body were very air-based. All this seems very natural for one who has been moving home at least every three months for the past 2 and a half years! That's not to mention my dad dying and with him, my main connection to a country I might have called home. So few roots.
On the first day of the course I was given the gift of being able to cry all day. Such a release. I think I lost a kilo in tears. All this is very good.
I returned to Auroville two days ago and found myself a flat. Just unpacking, cleaning and cooking food for myself immediately filled part of the hole I have felt in my solar plexis since dad died. Amazing.
To balance my energetic and digestive systems I decided to get some massage and energy work done. With so few roots, I have to find them inside myself. This afternoon I had shiatsu, focused on my sensations for an hour while the guy worked and I felt better, more centred immediately. When I got home I went to the loo almost normally and this evening I had the appetite to eat the most delicious homemade dinner. Incredible.
After the treatment, my therapist, Sami, explained that he felt my system was assimilating recent events. That my small intestine had been on overdrive so nothing was reaching lower down the tract. He advised I’d feel better in a couple of days. It took a couple of minutes!
Tomorrow I’ll take myself to the Aryurvedic doctor, get some nice herbal oils to put on the body, face and hair and continue to observe events...
May all beings be happy.
