First poem at Yasodhara

Sacred, holy mountain; powerful and dangerous.

Beside you I feel inadequate and insecure.

Let me embody your unmovable essence. Let me also stand statuesque and serene.

Is it some sign that I find myself in the mountain, staring straight at manipura on the wall?

And asking, ’What do I need to know about myself?’

This vulnerable, little human is still arriving.

Everything’s new. Settling in, searching out roots and balance.

I’m reacting in old ways and observing ancient patterns.

But they’re weaker than they’ve ever been.

Awareness illuminates them and steals their strength.

Slowly, like the sunshine illumines parts of a mountain,

First on one side, then on a hidden valley, then over a peak,

I can let the hidden parts of myself be revealed where the light is ready to be.

Being gently in the foundation of my faith and knowledge,

While emotions blow over like an ever-changing weather system.

Shadows and light never stay for long,

But the mountain doesn’t need other mountains to tell it its name.

It just is: Bridging the light and dark; feminine and masculine;

Past and present; real and symbolic;

Cultures and geographies; left and right

Moving from edge to edge, I find I enjoy the extremes.

Somewhere in the further most doing, there is resting.

Paradox.

Where just enough tension gives the hold bite- pushing the limits.

Struggling to hold onto kindness.

And yet there is always a refuge.

A safe place in nature and in light:

In attempting to embody love, while balancing in the tree, I crack a smile.

Reminds me of playfulness and of laughter;

That trees speak to me, that we exchange affections.

An important reminder to keep lightness in the practice.

Without light, we and our sister trees would die, inside and out.

Imagining it was always dark, that the sun never came again,

Is the most fearful of thoughts.

And yet, just as a tree’s roots grow in darkness,

Is not a vital part of us born in darkness, nourished by darkness?

Without darkness there could be no light.

Not where I stand today on this bridge, by this tree,

In this mountain.